Mickey MacConnell
Singer / Songwriter
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Mickey MacConnell Well the wife she broke her ankle when she tumbled off the bike Leaving me to do the housework, a job I never liked And doing the weekly shopping seemed a dreadful chore to me 'Til I discovered LidldiAldi, LidldiAldi LidldiAldi Lidldidee.
Now I just can't wait for Thursdays when the specials go on view I'm the first man to the trolleys; I'm the first man in the queue For now I know what women mean about retail therapy It's LidldiAldi, LidldiAldi LidldiAldi Lidldidee.
Its angle grinders and black puddings and a pot of German jam A lump of hairy bacon and a wet suit from Japan And a pack of streaky rashers, a crate of Russian stout And a portable generator just in case the lights go out Alloy wheels and windscreen wipers and a bag of Rooster spuds An inflatable rubber dinghy to help survive the floods Spanners, sockets and fish fingers, they're so cheap they're damn near free At LidldiAldi, LidldiAldi, LidldiAldi, Lidldidee.
Now there's welding rods and prime organic beef to make a hearty stew A hiking staff and spiky boots for climbing Kathmandu Big heads of curly cabbage to make you eat your fill Sledgehammers and bananas and a lovely cordless drill And there's hatchets and hamburgers and there's tins of beans and peas And a petrol driven chainsaw for cutting bits off trees Strimmers, sabres, saws and sausages, computers and TVs At LidldiAldi, LidldiAldi LidldiAldi Lidldidee.
Now the wife has gone ballistic, marriage heading for the rocks With her crutches and her shopping bag now she's hobbling round the shops And she's cut up all me credit cards, I'm sad as sad can be No more Aldi LidldiAldi, no more Lidldidee for me. For the shed is full of plastic shit I didn't really want And the gardens full of furniture and the house is full of plants And I'm living in the doghouse; Rover, Fido, Shep and me Because of Aldi LidldiAldi LidldiAldi Lidldidee.
So no more angle grinders nor black puddings, no more pots of German jam No lumps of hairy bacon, no more wet suits from Japan No packs of streaky rashers, and I'll have to do without Another portable generator just in case the lights go out No alloy wheels, no windscreen wipers, no bags of Rooster spuds No inflatable rubber dinghies to help survive the floods For I am living in the doghouse I'm as sad as sad can be, No more Aldi LidldiAldi, no more Lidldidee for me! © Mickey MacConnell Listen to Mickey singing it here
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